Day 43: Courage
Posted on: January 12, 2013
- In: HR
- 74 Comments
Some posts take a huge amount of courage to write. Whilst many guest blogs in this series have been uplifting and inspiring, this one is much darker and more troubling. And yet, it is perhaps the most of important of all to publish, because it is a first hand account of a topic we still shy away from discussing openly: mental health.
The author has requested to remain anonymous and I absolutely respect that. I am certain that you will do too.
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I wake to the sound of screaming, half crazed I stumble across the bridge from the dream to the real world and realise that I’m the one who is screaming. My heart races impossibly. Terror holds me in its grip. Slowly I calm, the sweat runs down, forming an ice cold patch at the small of my back. Just another night.
So different from the evening before. The medication, still new and unfamiliar, envelops me in a warm fog, a delicious embrace with the prospect of sleep. The doctors had promised I would sleep. They were right I suppose, I did sleep but not for long and not well. Certainly not well enough to feel rested.
Forgive me, I’m skipping ahead in my review of the year, the part above comes from the final weeks. It started differently…..
Earlier in the year it wasn’t overwhelming fear and anxiety which affected my sleep. It was agitation. I couldn’t concentrate properly at work. Colleagues were unsure of my reactions. My moods were mercurial at best. Of course in my mind I knew better, knew exactly what needed to happen if only they would just listen properly. I was infuriated by their laxity and delays. Every person I came across seemed to be stuck in treacle.
It was the bowl that did it, that made me seek help. It was an unremarkable bowl, I’d owned it for a number of years, it had a few chips but no other distinguishing features. By the time I realised what had happened it was in shattered pieces on the floor. That night I promised I would seek help, again.
It’s been a long year, full of broken promises and false starts. Delays in treatment, a succession of waiting lists and even now, still no answer. Through it all, I’ve continued to work. Some days more successfully than others. I’ve been lucky to have understanding co-workers and clients. I would like to think that no one noticed the gaps but I’d be foolish to think it is so. However, I haven’t disclosed my problems formally. I’m aware that so much stigma still exists. Heck, I work in the HR / LD fields, I’ve delivered the training to support diversity, to combat discrimination in all it’s myriad forms but no one has ever asked me to deliver the subject I’m most qualified in. It’s not even like I’m in a small minority. Look around the train carriage or office in which you’re reading this. One in four of the people you see will encounter a mental health problem in their lives. If you’re reading it at home, then chances are that one of your family is already suffering or will be before long. With all that knowledge, it’s telling that I’m not confident enough in the reception I would get, to be able to speak openly.
So this is by way of a “cri de coeur” to my colleagues in HR and farther afield. Please remember that I live amongst you. I hear you casually talk of being “a bit OCD” over a presentation or feeling “schizoid” when you can’t make a decision. I hate that we are still using that sort of language. No one says “I’m feeling a bit cancerous” or “I’m like a stroke victim today”. Please don’t think I’m being over-sensitive. I’m not suggesting we suddenly become all politically correct, just take a bit of care. You know why? I don’t just hear your comments, I also hear sounds in my head, dislocated rhythms, white noise. I don’t just see managers ill-equipped to start the kind of dialogue I need to be open about my health, I see strange shadows determined to do harm.
Frightening stuff eh? It would be so much nicer to feel that when I opened my eyes after the dreams I would see friendly faces ready to help me. It feels a long way from that but here’s to 2013 and a change in attitudes. So, as you work with colleagues who are suffering with stress, depression or even, (like me), something even more challenging, please just ask how they’re doing. They won’t bite, or break down crying. Just talking to them will help them, that way they can help themselves and then in turn help you.
You see, that agitated nervous energy I spoke of could be channelled when you need someone to work late to make a deadline. That anxiety and attention to detail could be good when you need something proofread. There are numerous ways to involve and include – just ask us.
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If you care about mental health and want to make a difference there are lots of things you can do
- visit Mind’s website and check out their excellent corporate resources
- take the ‘time to change’ pledge
- attend our event with Mind on 5th February 2013 at 6pm
- share your story and read those of others as part of the #25percentclub blog series
74 Responses to "Day 43: Courage"
January 12, 2013 at 9:03 am
Professor Susan Greenfield says that the 21st Century will be the century where mental illnesses predominate. We must find btter ways to address our fears and thank you for sharing.
January 12, 2013 at 9:25 pm
Thank you Peter, I think Susan Greenfield is likely to be proved correct. They say it will be the 2nd highest burden on the NHS after heart disease by 2020
January 12, 2013 at 9:19 am
What an incredibly brave post. I had a mini-breakdown a year ago and was signed off work for a number of weeks, suffering from depression. It was almost like reading my own story which is a bit scary. Unlike me, you have been brave enough to write about this, which is huge and life-altering. I would lay money that someone teetering on the edge will read this, recognise your words, and seek help.
Thank you for the courage you have shown in writing this.
I’m a big fan of Finding Nemo, and since the episode, tend to live my life with the motto ‘just keep swimming’, which has surprisingly helped!
Keep strong, keep healthy; understand that there will be bad days but don’t let them beat or define you. And please, keep writing.
I wish you all the best in the world
January 12, 2013 at 9:28 pm
Hi B, thanks for your kind words. I hope that you are feeling a whole lot better now. You may well be right, I certainly seem to have encouraged at least one other person to blog about the subject of mental health today. Even to the point of disclosing her identity. Something I am still unsure of.
I never thought Finding Nemo would have a message for MH issues but I’m pleased to be proved wrong. It’s a good tip. Thank you.
January 12, 2013 at 10:00 am
Reblogged this on Halls are made for Madness and commented:
There is no them, just us, together.
5 | Kate Griffiths-Lambe (@KateGL)
January 12, 2013 at 10:03 am
Thank you for having the courage to speak out – all of us in the work place (and outside) need to become comfortable talking about and being conscious of mental health issues. You are right that individuals often can bring strengths to benefit the achievement of objectives (enhanced vision, attention to detail, determination to name but a few). I have a sibling with Asbergers and she is amazing in so many ways – much better memory for certain facts and data than I could ever achieve and such a clear and constant focus. There is still a stigma in society over mental health (much to our shame) but we can only solve that by having real and open discussions and being honest. Your bravery in writing what you have will help make a difference both to individuals and to organisations and the wider community. Once again, thank you for speaking out. I hope 2013 proves to be a better year for you.
January 12, 2013 at 9:33 pm
Thank you Kate for your kind words and also for talking about your sister. I don’t feel particularly brave. I’ve hidden behind the screen of anonymity after all but it has been a catharsis of sorts to write this.
January 17, 2013 at 1:46 pm
I can’t believe I’m reading this! Thank you for this blog! I was drawn to tears as I educating my 14 year old daughter that she is not alone, it seems like it to her since she had three psychotic episodes since the age of 11, just when she started secondary school. She had her last episode in October but I could see the signs in September and coped best I could. She spent a month on an adolescent psychiatric unit, that is the least time she’s spent in mental health care and the only reason why she was discharged sooner is because I listened to the experts this time and had accepted medication. She’s having a few wobbles and is still on the road to recovery. I have a wonderful boss who has been understanding and supportive and I’m sure she won’t mind me saying, has had her fair share of coping with a sibling with additional needs and still is. When I was working in the office I felt like my world was crashing in on me. I was working in the day and going to the unit to see my daughter every night in Enfield as she would call me each evening at 5pm, when calls were permitted from the unit, she would be pleading with me to hurry and come and get her, and would keep asking ‘why am I here’, why did you leave me. It was stressful to say the least. And to get there and see her scared out of her mind, screaming at me and not eating for days on end, paranoid and scared of everyone and everything. She would often have hallucinations and this was before starting medication. I knew it was coming, the recommendation of psychotic drugs. But after some research and having sat down with my boss and have her reassure me on the type of medication this was and how it could improve her life as it had her sibling, I was relieved and ready to do what was best for her. It hurts so much to see her change from a vibrant young girl to see her at the best of times worried and axious about her illness, school, the stigma and fearful of me leaving her side everytime I leave one room to go into another, but I know this will only be for a time – she has major support from me, her therapist and prevention nurse at the adolescent mental health team we see each week and thanks to my boss i still have an income. I can truly say what a great support my boss has been in allowing me to be work according to my daughter’s needs and for the tremedous support i’ve had from the PA’s. I met some great people in the workplace who opened up to me about their own experiences and I was amazed to find there are quite a few. Can you imagine I was chatting to a total stranger on the bus and she spoke of her work and how she sufferes with anxiety and her colleagues see the signs and warn her to slow down, they’ve learnt what can happen as she’s had a mental breakdown before. I suppose what I’m trying to say here is there needs to be more awareness in the workplace and it’s been a campain for years. I worked in menatal health for four years on adult units and for CPPIH (government incentive sadly aboloshished) – Commission for Public and Patient Involvement in Health, working with their mental health forums as a support person to promote awareness. It is good to see this orgsnisation taking it in hand and working towards supporting mental health issues. Also, to the blogger re. Nemo, what a refreshing story – I shall make sure my daughter see’s this movie again and will teach her that motto…’just keep swimming’.
January 17, 2013 at 2:18 pm
Thank you so much for commenting Carol. I’m so pleased its helped in some way – I hope that the series of posts next week may also help her to feel less alone. Wishing you and your daughter the very best x
January 17, 2013 at 6:23 pm
Carol
I’m the one who should be thanking you. Your honesty and warmth shine out from this reply. I hope you felt some degree of catharsis from writing it and I also hope you and your daughter feel less alone now. It’s great to hear how much support you have had. I hope that with proper care and treatment your daughter continues her recovery. I wish you both well.
January 12, 2013 at 10:17 am
Reblogged this on Floraworks and commented:
I’m sure no one reads my blog who doesn’t already read Alison’s, but just in case….
January 12, 2013 at 10:22 am
*stands to applaud*
January 12, 2013 at 11:00 am
We need more blogs like this. The fact that this articulate writer wishes to remain anonynous says it all. Would she feel the need for anonymity for a broken leg? I have a client going through a period of mentai ill health currently – they have taken a sabbatical for fear of stigma. I hate the bandied-about language too…makes my toes curl.
It’s for me one of the last workplace (or any place) taboos and needs the same sea change as the others.
January 12, 2013 at 9:35 pm
Thank you Jane for your kind words. It is indeed sad that your colleague feels the need to take a sabbatical, however I can hardly comment, I have chosen anonymity at this time. In some ways, we need less blogs like this, one day this sort of writing will not attract such attention. I look forward to that day.
January 12, 2013 at 9:38 pm
No applause needed but thank you for showing your appreciation Neil
January 12, 2013 at 10:22 am
Powerful and compelling. Thank you to the author and to Alison for curating.
January 12, 2013 at 12:53 pm
I completely respect your request for anonymity – though it is a sad reflection on where we all are societally I think. We are all both dysfunctional and functional.
You close your piece by saying ‘just ask us’, and so I will. What can I do to help? If you can think of anything I can do – then there are many ways you can contact me. If you do so via my website you may also choose to remain anonymous if that helps, though ultimately – I believe in taking courage and support and showing our true selves. In any event I wish you well.
January 12, 2013 at 9:42 pm
Hi Doug, thanks for your inquiry of how you can help. Honestly I’m not sure right now but the outpouring of interest in this and in Lorna Leeson’s blog makes me hopeful. I will speak with Alison to see what we can do to build on this unprecedented interest and will keep you informed.
10 | Stella Matimba (@stellamatimba)
January 12, 2013 at 1:48 pm
Such a courageous piece, and thank you for highlighting statements we often make haphazardly without thinking, which have the potential to do more harm than good. Note to self: watch what I say, no matter how clichéd it might be.
January 12, 2013 at 9:45 pm
Thanks Stella, like I say, let’s not get all PC but just take a bit of care. Please don’t feel bad. Just keep talking and including.
January 12, 2013 at 3:43 pm
I had to read this blog a few times as I had to stop myself from crying. I shared an experience in last years advent selection on my battle with darker times. I come from a family with a history of mental illness & although I would say I had mild depression there is a fear I will ‘end up like them’. That has to stop, we need to be braver about talking about these topics & educating managers on how to support employees who may not be as brave as you. Sending light and love to you.
January 12, 2013 at 9:47 pm
Hi there HR Hopeful. I’m sorry I made you cry. You (more than most) will understand my challenges with such a family history. I urge you to keep talking to the people who can help and support you. My thanks for the love and light
January 12, 2013 at 5:45 pm
Reblogged this on Just Somebody That I Used To Know and commented:
I think this is something that everyone should read. Not only a well written blog but a blog with a hell of a lot of courage, I hope the anonymous author realises how much people appreciate her words.
January 12, 2013 at 9:48 pm
Hi there Ruby. I’m glad that you appreciated the words. They were easy to write but harder to share. Responses like yours help me know I was right to do so.
January 12, 2013 at 11:07 pm
I realise I automatically put ‘her’ in my comment so apologies if you are male, no idea why put ‘her’.
I’m so glad you found the courage to share, your post made me realise that I’m not alone with things I’ve been through and I want to thank you for that.
It’s people like you who will one day help to end the stigma surrounding mental health and it makes no difference that you chose to stay anonymous, you were still brave to share and you deserve the applause that people are giving you.
January 12, 2013 at 6:44 pm
Thank you for sharing. This has taken a lot of courage. This truly demonstrates that HR needs HR! Charity should start at home as it were! x
January 12, 2013 at 9:49 pm
Hi Bina, you have hit the nail on the head. We need to help each other. Thank you for commenting
[…] great blog I read today says the […]
January 13, 2013 at 3:51 pm
This must have been a difficult post to write I hope in the writing it also gave you some comfort. I was diagnosed with CFS 2 years ago and last year entered a 1 year therapy programme which ends this February. My condition caused me to have a number of extremely low points last year – at a few points on the programme I really struggled I wanted to crawl into my safe bed, close the curtains and not face the world. This is the complete opposite of my normal bubbly personality and so difficult to describe to anyone, people asked what’s the matter and its just everything. This brain numbness turned into anger and a rage I didnt realise I possessed mainly aimed at the amazing Psycologist on the programme. In turn it led to tears I was apologetic for – when asked why I was apologising my response was but this is not me – this was my breakthrough, my realisation that I have a condition and that I mentally couldn’t cope with it and my core beliefs have to change. I have been very lucky I have an amazing husband, family, friends and work colleagues. The therapy programme has gone from something I hated with a passion to appreciation and to feeling lucky to be included on it. My life is in a much better place, I understand my triggers and can act upon them immediately. A year ago I would have never put a comment on this amazing blog as embarrassment would have got the better of me now I honestly think the journey I have been forced to go on has made me a better person. I wish you luck finding your inner peace something I have been lucky enough to find – well this week anyway 🙂 the journey continues!
January 13, 2013 at 6:27 pm
Hi there Heather.
Funnily enough it was an easy blog to actually write. It all poured out of me on New Years Day. The hard part was deciding whether to share it, either anonymously or publicly. I will be forever grateful to Alison for sharing it. I now have some serious thinking to do about whether I actually disclose my identity or let others build on this.
I’m pleased that you are finding peace after such a struggle. I wish you well in the future.
January 14, 2013 at 1:25 pm
I think in L&D/HR people sometimes forget we’re human too. I was diagnosed with Anxiety disorder 10 years ago and it’s something I battle with every day. Thank you for writing/publishing such an eloquent and brave post. Last year I became a Mental Health First Aid Instructor it has been one of the best things I ever did. If you’re in L&D/HR in an organisation I’d thoroughly recommend it http://www.mhfaengland.org/ I also love the anti stigma campaign materials that Time to Change produce (for free peeps!).
January 16, 2013 at 12:13 pm
Hi Hayley, sorry for the delay in replying. As you can imagine it’s all been a bit busy and overwhelming.
I’m aware of MHFA, it’s great work that they do and it’s a longer term aim of mine to qualify as you have done. Glad to hear you are battling on.
17 | Kev Wyke (@kevwyke)
January 14, 2013 at 11:08 pm
Wow, brave stuff. I stand with those who applaud you and join their acclaim. This really is important stuff, that 1 in 4 stat is real and will surely affect us all, I know it had touched me and i know how tough it is to deal with in a world still full of stigma . I also join Doug’s offer, what can I do to help? Cos surely I have to do something!
January 16, 2013 at 12:15 pm
Hi Kev
As stated before, applause is not necessary. You mention the 1 in 4 stat has touched your life and I wish you well.
As for the offer of help, well by now you will have seen that we are hoping to run an event. I’m sure we can find you a job to do 🙂
January 15, 2013 at 8:55 am
A wake-up call for us all. How interested are we in the people that we work with, and not just what they do? I seem to be on a journey already this year toward understanding the points of view of others, this courageous post has given me cause for reflection, and so early in a New Year!
January 16, 2013 at 12:16 pm
Hi Graham
It’s great to hear you are on a journey. My post seems to have made many people reflect, if we all do something then 2013 will be a great year for Mental Health
[…] from blogging. That summary post will absolutely follow soon, but as many of you will be aware, Day 43 of the series created a tidal wave of interest and commitment from people across and beyond my […]
[…] post needs little introduction at the current time. It is by the author of Courage and is an invitation to you to join us and take action on mental […]
January 16, 2013 at 4:41 pm
A very moving post, and one that has encouraged us all think and discuss mental health openly and as Neil said, that does deserve applause.
The CIPD worked with Mind about a year ago on a piece of research that showed that despite 1 in 4 people having experienced a mental health problem – only 1 in 5 of those would disclose this to their manager. From this research, we put together a tool ‘Managing and supporting mental health at work: disclosure tools for managers’ http://www.cipd.co.uk/publicpolicy/policy-reports/mental-health-work-disclosure-tools.aspx It’s available to non-CIPD members also and I hope that this helps the HR community as a whole to overcome these challenges.
January 16, 2013 at 7:08 pm
Hi Natalia
That’s a great resource. We will make sure that we publicise it. I do hope CIPD can join us at our event. We are just finalising the date.
January 16, 2013 at 5:32 pm
Anxiety, depression and mental health issues affect so many people and it is really helpful to discuss it openly. Despite the changes going on in the NHS there are still support services out there for anyone who is suffering so it’s worth a chat with your GP to see what’s available.
January 17, 2013 at 1:58 pm
Hi there, agree, there is so much support available but the asking is often the hardest part. For much of the last 12 years I was with one GP who was superb but life moves on, people retire, I moved location and I find myself almost starting again. Just got to keep on going 🙂
[…] Day 43: Courage […]
January 18, 2013 at 9:28 am
I never usually comment on blogs I read but I feel compelled to comment on this one. Well done on writing this blog! It is truly inspirational and should be shared as widely as possible. I work in a NHS Mental Health Trust and we actively seek to employ people who have a history of mental health issues, and therefore we actively challenge any use of that language. My personal view is that people who suffer with mental health WILL recovery. It is the same as breaking your leg, you will be off while it heals but it will heal. Your leg may be a bit weaker or you may need to take a bit extra care but it will get better. Is the same with Mental Health. You will get better, you will recover. You will learn a lot about yourself, what your triggers are, and how you can manage it but this is not different to someone using a crutch with a broken leg. I wish you all the best for the future
January 18, 2013 at 5:55 pm
Hi Joseph
Thanks for your kind words and I’m glad you were moved enough to write. It’s great to get your personal insight from within the system. Thanks so much for all your hard work supporting those who need help.
January 18, 2013 at 11:28 am
[…] on Alison Chisnell’s blog, someone wrote a very brave post about how they have been affected by mental health. It’s sparked something, and you should read the follow up invitation to do something about […]
[…] over a week ago a conversation started on twitter. A few of us had responded to the ‘Courage’ guest post on Alison’s blog and were discussing mental health and work. Things had to change, we […]
[…] I asked Alison Chisnell to host it during her advent blogs. The response to the retitled “Courage” was amazing, it quickly went round the world of HR and I do mean world, picked up in the […]
February 5, 2013 at 8:21 pm
Thank you for writing this piece, and to Alison for hosting it. I’ve come via your post today in which you reveal yourself. It’s a brave thing to do, and one which I hope will provide you with strength.
Speaking about mental health issues isn’t easy, but I do believe it is getting easier. I hope you are met with the same warm reception that my husband Stuart and I have been met with as we continue to do our little bit to raise awareness of mental health issues ( Stuart’s story can be found on http://www.walkingontheedge.org.uk )
Keep up the good work!
[…] helps or how. All my thinking and writing my draft has helped me stop and consider how/where I am. “Courage” and Lorna’s post are thought-provoking, important pieces and I hope these will help people […]
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February 13, 2013 at 11:05 am
[…] Saturday January 12th this anonymous blog was posted as a guest contribution to a series that Alison Chisnell was featuring on her site HR […]
February 15, 2013 at 7:06 am
[…] first post about Courage, that’s where this all started. Please do go and read it if you haven’t. It’s […]
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June 9, 2013 at 9:53 am
[…] to create a piece of unique artwork for a blind auction. Jon has recently blogged for MIND and his January post for Alison Chisnell’s guest blog series started the HR for Mental Health […]
[…] Anonymous: Courage, Another Anonymous Blogger: Born This Way, and Kate Griffiths-Lambeth: Speak Up If you don’t read any other posts highlighted in this month’s list, please at least find the time to read these three, think about them, and perhaps act on them (some links for next steps can be found here). Each deals, powerfully, with issues around mental health and the workplace. Please, please read them. The first two posts come from anonymous bloggers via guest posts on Alison Chisnell’s blog. The other is from leading UK HR blogger Kate Griffiths-Lambeth. Follow Kate on Twitter. […]
[…] Courage The first post describes the anonymous author’s struggles with mental health issues, and their concerns that fully disclosing these issues in the workplace could have a serious impact on their career. […]
[…] January of this year, I published this post as part of the Advent and New Year series, written by Jon Bartlett, which caused huge waves in the […]
December 22, 2013 at 10:55 am
Hi, could I possibly have my earlier comment removed on here?
Thank you.
December 22, 2013 at 12:58 pm
Of course – I will look for it and take down both this one and the previous one today.
[…] words. It tells the story of the year that Jon Bartlett has experienced…from writing that anonymous blog in January, to everything that followed from there. For me, it’s a powerful story of courage, […]
[…] beginning of this story is known to most of you. I published a guest blog in January last year, we held an HR for Mental Health event. For me, it has always been not so much those early […]
[…] known as manic depression) for 20 years and has tried numerous ways of coping. Last January, he published a blog anonymously. Because of the level of support he received, he decided to go public. Since then, he […]
[…] Alison Chisnell’s blog has sparked an awesome conversation around HR for Mental Health. I have followed it keenly, but felt rather powerless to participate in a meaningful way. You see, I work in South East Asia (SEA), and that presents some unique challenges to mental health. But I do believe there is something fundamental that HR pros can do in SEA to help break the silence. The Context of Mental Health in SEA Disability is still a terrible open secret for SEA families, with many a family member having spent their life in the back room while guests visit their house, so as not to be seen. I know this because I have been to a party and heard a voice I didn’t recognise from the kitchen but wasn’t allowed to go in since it was an aunty with Down syndrome who isn’t allowed out to see guests. With this attitude towards ‘being different’, it’s no wonder that mental health is a terribly feared, real secret. Mental health in SEA is such an embarrassing subject that the true costs and difficulty in obtaining treatment are rarely open to public debate. Health insurance does not cover mental illnesses. It is a cost to be borne out of pocket. Singapore has a mandatory saving scheme that takes portions out of citizens’ salaries, but only from 2009 could this money go towards depression or bipolar disorders from 2011. There does seem to be some development in mental healthcare affordability but it is very slow. Even if you have the money, the services may simply not be available to you in the lesser developed parts of SEA. And if you are a foreigner perhaps, there can be the added difficulty in seeking help that is culturally appropriate. And then it gets really complicated when the silence around a mental illness is broken but the answer given is religion or black magic. SEA is a region known for its religious diversity and strength, perhaps it is not so know for its black magic though. Something that easily arches the eyebrow of a foreigner, black magic and possessions are a naturally accepted fact to SEA local. Mothers of my friends have been possessed, stories are passed about those who are cursed by previous generation’s bargains with bomohs, poor women will have metal plates implanted in their forehead to lure a wealthy husband. Putting this final layer over the mental health issue in SEA makes for a rather limited dialogue. Don’t Tell Your Colleagues As a sufferer of anxiety, I recently sought professional advice in Singapore. I went to a private clinic and was so fortunate to have met a wonderful therapist, a Pakistani who migrated to the US, was a non-practicing Muslim, and had an inter religious marriage. I hit the jackpot of help and insight into my unorthodox intercultural, interracial, inter religious significant relationship and life. And that advice hit the jackpot with my credit card: $300 for one hour’s consultation. It didn’t matter how much they helped me, that kind of rate is simply unaffordable. Apart from the great advice, one of the things I vividly remember from the session was being advised not to share my anxiety challenges with colleagues. The impact on my career and social standing would apparently be catastrophic enough that therapists remind foreigners not to share mental health concerns with SEA colleagues. Mental Health In the Workplace And this brings me to mental health in the workplace of SEA. A difficult terrain to negotiate is the concept of hierarchy, seniority and saving face. People in high positions who are respected seniors simply can’t be approached about erratic behaviour. Jobs are at the mercy of a boss’s self awareness and an employee’s remarkable skill to save the face of someone clearly ignoring significant mental health problems. Secondly, the power of a name and social networks in SEA make the importance of face saving essential to successful business. Mental health is not something anyone wants attached to their image in SEA. The fear from the top resonates right down to the fear of those on the bottom – the most vulnerable with the lowest likelihood of seeking treatment – and everyone suffers in silence. HR in SEA is more involved in employee health than what I am used to, as we negotiate and manage the health insurance of employees. Surprisingly, for all this involvement in health, there will never be a mention of mental health. Sick days will be for a myriad of reasons, but never because of mental health. And one of the most difficult issues as a foreigner practicing HR in SEA is that despite all the influence and best intentions on your behalf, you’re not going to change the basic attitudes of the people in that country, change the government healthcare policies or create better public mental health services. So what can we do when we’ve got all the resources that we’re going to get, and it’s just not enough? What HR Can Do In my honest and very simple opinion, I believe one of the most important things a HR pro can do in SEA is to establish strict professional boundaries and partake in no gossip at all about employees. It’s sadly not a given for HR in SEA. Appraisals and employee’s life decisions will regularly be discussed mid-store or over lunch while the HR pro and colleagues wait for that person to arrive. How do I know? Because I’ve heard and seen these examples happen as I go about my daily life in SEA – a management meeting about a staff member in the pharmacy aisles, a discussion about someone’s maternity leave and career prospects with other colleagues at a restaurant table. If I’ve seen it, then so would have all the other people I work with, and they would have seen it for their whole lives in SEA. Discreteness is not an easy image to cultivate against this backdrop, and it may be a solo effort in a team of HR pros in SEA as you come into a place with formed habits, or even cultural norms, that fly in the face of confidentiality. But it’s a worthy effort, and ultimately rewarding when a colleague finally takes comfort in the professionalism and understanding of your role that it’s no longer a ‘head cold’ plaguing them, but a very bad bout of depression. Anyone who has suffered from some sort of mental illness knows the power of just being able to call your infliction by the name it actually is – no-one takes comfort in excuses of being “blur like sotong“, a head cold, or tiredness, when the monster of depression or whatever other life stealing condition is haunting them. It’s a little bit like telling someone with a broken leg to get on with life by telling everyone they have a sprained ankle. It must feel so damn good to have someone to tell that actually, the leg is broken and.it.hurts.so.bad. Now, I agree, it’s not much. But it’s a start. And it doesn’t mean becoming the counsellor and hearing everyone’s problems. In fact, good HR will promptly stop conversations that are for real counsellors and therapists – we’re there for business. But HR is also about people, and people suffer from illnesses. Some discrete open mindedness is the least we can do, and could bring very real impact to organisations in SEA. Cheers, Sarah Btw, if you’re wondering how I can be employed in HR, and write about HR – here‘s my explanation. […]
The HR Juggler 
January 12, 2013 at 7:36 am
Thank you for sharing that. Thank you for your eloquence and courage, humility and humanness.
January 12, 2013 at 9:23 pm
And thank you for your kind words Meg. It’s been an emotional day as I’m sure you can imagine. I feel neither eloquent or courageous but I do feel human.