The HR Juggler

Day 10: Barefoot in the Heart: Santa Claus

Posted on: December 10, 2013


Today’s post is by the very clever and talented Neil Usher who has written a series of Barefoot in the Heart posts over on his blog, inspired by Brian Aldiss‘ “Barefoot in the Head” stream of consciousness sci fi novel. As Neil explains, he believes Brian Aldiss was influenced in turn by James Joyce’s Finnegan’s Wake and that these pieces aim to flush out the vulnerability behind the brave face of everyday working life, Santa included. You can find Neil on Twitter (@Workessence).

Artwork for today (and every day!) is by the brilliant Simon Heath.


Ho ho ho! I have the most sensational job in the universe not just vocational the commitment totally emotional seems to have been eternal cant remember a time I ever applied never had a plan just seem to have been doing this since time began am even older than Noddy Holder of course the skies were colder then global warming has played havoc with reindeer flight can now only work in the deepest night or their noses catch light for a few weeks every year its unbelievable I get flooded with written overtures of dubious claims to good behaviour justifying material favour and vodka in every conceivable flavour but its got so easy now its all made in three factories in china which helps with my fading eyesight rheumatism and angina just can’t keep my weight down living on penguins they’re rather fatty and all the goodness lies just under their skins of course I’m not a father this is a solo career nobody else up here in the palacious arctic makes robinson crusoe look like a salacious twenty four hour party lothario and riding on a supersonic sleigh defines cathartic but I love the love of a billion childish souls and it defines my position my strategy objectives goals and mission in a single intent to stuff your chimneys with guff that will be broken by midnight or you’ll be giving up for lent but beyond the clouds and spangled metallic moonlight in my heart I am barefoot entangled in the unrelenting monotonous expectation that I exist alone purely for your selfish gratification HR don’t come up this far well out of their comfort zone impersonated even more than than elvis I am sysiphus with a sack slowly breaking my brittle back through the lull after the madness I stare at the icy expanse and imagine that just for a moment I can hear the distant whisper of thanks for all things that glisten but unable to be the change I insist the briefest of smiles I bring to the fortunate masks the sadness of those out of view its easy to tell who is who harder to make anyone listen when they’re not even sure you exist

5 Responses to "Day 10: Barefoot in the Heart: Santa Claus"

Dear Santa, Your sadness is touching; I believe in you as around me do. You have to look for us and believe in our existence just as we do with yours. Happy Christmas. X

So clever how ever do you manage to get the pain and rage from your brain to the page we readers like reindeers tug at your words the sackful of issues pulling us slowly towards misuse and imbalance of need to the inevitable conclusion that awareness not greed is what we require to escape from the mire and tat of the season and care for the earth compels us to reason that Santa’s existential rants should please one. Thanks!

consider my mind blown like the fake snowflakes in the globe that I own it’s got a mini Colossieum inside came from Rome where it’s too warm for snow to hide but enough of my nonsense I’ve got work to do can’t keep my stakeholders in suspense now or there’ll be a coup 😉

[…] Usher, in at number 10 here, is one of the people most responsible for me starting to write this blog and it has led to […]

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