The HR Juggler

Day 8: Love and Resolutions

Posted on: December 8, 2012

Anyone who follows @tizzyness on Twitter will know that firstly she is lovely and secondly she has had a pretty horrendous year with the boss from hell. If you want to catch up with the frankly jaw-dropping summary of the things that went on in her office, check out her post about it here. In the meantime though, enjoy her reflections and resolutions on 2012.

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So, to sum up. What an incredible year.

OK, OK. So I know you’re supposed to end and not start with the summary (I was never that great at English at school), but it’s the first thing that comes into my head when I think back over the last year.

Until this year, I had never made a New Year’s resolution. Not for any reason other than the fact I’m already perfect and I have no flaws or vices whatsoever (#truefact #maybe). But this year I made two. And on reflection (see what I did there?) they are the two of the best things I have ever done.

My journey through 2012 actually started back in 2011. On Christmas Day to be precise, when my wonderful Mr Tizz asked me to marry him. I said yes, of course, and floated into 2012 on a wave of ivory silk with a great big shiny bit of bling on my left hand.

We’d already vaguely talked about moving out of south London and escaping to the countryside, but it was all just a bit of a pipe dream really. But getting engaged changed things and we made a joint resolution to escape London by the summer. I’ll gloss over the stress and difficulties of achieving this, the obstacles we had to overcome, the begging phone calls to the bank and the constant fingernail biting of “will we or won’t we complete” (twice), but by May, we landed at our new house in Essex. In a village. With a field out the back and a green out the front. 

A lifelong dream.

Resolution #1. Tick.

Needless to say moving house and planning a wedding has made for an extremely busy and fun-filled year: from the girlie excitement of choosing dresses and flowers to the grown up decisions of choosing colours for the walls and tiles for the bathroom. Exhausting stuff.

Which is where Resolution #2 comes in. Leaving work. Not because I don’t want to work, or don’t need to work, but because my working environment was becoming more and more toxic by the day. By the middle of the year it was getting to the stage where even the wonderful things in life couldn’t outweigh the misery of commuting into the City everyday to an office that really was becoming a joke. Worse still, I’d lost all respect for my boss and started to really not care about the work I was doing, which had a secondary (more personally distressing) impact of starting to lose respect for myself. It became a bit of a vicious spiral I guess, massively impacting on both health and happiness.

Earlier in the summer, Mr Tizz and I had already made a pact (Resolution #2), that new job, or no new job, I would leave the current one by the end of the year. And that’s just what I did. Although it was always part of the plan, actually arriving home in tears one day in October (there’d already been plenty of tears, but mostly not in public!) was the final straw for both of us and Mr Tizz gave me the strength (and his blessing) to take decisive action. I handed in my notice, with no job to go to, and breathed a massive sigh of relief. Like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I should have done it ages ago.

And already I am back to my old self. Actually, that’s not true, I’m more than my old self. I’m back to sitting on my little cloud of euphoria just like I did when Mr Tizz popped the question almost a year ago.

Resolution #2. Tick.

There have been other ups and downs throughout the year, but achieving the two things that were the post important to me were definitely the highlights.

And so, to sum up again (in a more chronologically appropriate manner this time), my reflection of 2012? Well that resolutions are definitely the way forward. And my resolution for 2013? Make more resolutions. Except, we’re getting married in June, I think that’s quite enough to contend with (and be content with) for one year.

4 Responses to "Day 8: Love and Resolutions"

Thrilled to meet you @tizzyness. The depth, truth and lightness of your story is quite something. A big inspiration and a reminder of similar memories/past challenges.

Here’s to you, Mr Tizz and 2013. Chink-chink

I did the same over 25 years ago – best thing I could have done, my career really took off from there! Glad I had the experience of feeling demotivated and having crap bosses, really helped me in leadership development work ever since… Very brave lady and lovely to hear about the good bits too.

I can totally relate to the job situation – I was in that place myself just over two years ago and walked away with no certainty about what I was going to do next. Life is a journey, and sometimes you have to take a turn that your sensible self wouldn’t take. I’m on another one of those at the moment – this one is about being the change that I want to see in the world!

The Great Escape – well done.

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