The HR Juggler

Push The Button!

Posted on: March 6, 2011

How many ways do you make things hard on yourself? What pushes your buttons to make you feel that the responsibility for certain things is yours and yours alone?

So, this may be the most blindingly obvious post I’ve ever written, but I’m not sure I mind much ;). Since writing about my ‘bloggers rut’ on Thursday, I have received so many supportive and genuinely helpful comments, that my heart feels about ten times lighter and creative inspiration is flowing once again. All of the comments have been hugely helpful and the ones that have resonated with me most deeply are the advice that I write for me alone and that I should not feel compelled to blog without inspiration or set myself ‘rules’ to stick to. Without realising it, I had been making things very hard on myself!

I have had a number of other realisations over this weekend about the fact that I tend to insist on taking sole responsibility for things, thereby making myself rather hard to help when I am under pressure. Both at home and work this can be equally true.

So this afternoon, when Mr C offered to help with the housework, instead of saying no, I accepted (I would love to say gracefully but it wasn’t really!). And we tried something different – he and our girls tidied, I cleaned. I am now the sum total of 40p poorer, as small bribes have a transformational effect on a 5 year olds efforts, but wow! – what a difference! So much quicker, more fun and much more achievable – a clean and tidy house, ready to start the new week.  It won’t stay that way for long, but that really isn’t the point.

Also our daughters are starting swimming lessons next week and Mr C will be regularly taking them…the little things make a huge difference to creating more time.

I am my own worst enemy as I know I can be hard to help and thereby put extra pressure on myself. But I am quite inspired to explore this more in a work context and accept help and support when offered there too…and push that ‘stop’ button, when I need to!

What do you make hard on yourself? What buttons do you need to push to change things for the better?  I’d love to know!

11 Responses to "Push The Button!"

Love your blogs,

I think I have discovered a ‘clean’ version of theHRD’s blog – yay!

Wow – huge compliment, sure I’m not worthy of that comparison ;). Thanks so much for commenting – really glad you enjoy reading the posts.

I recognise myself in this description too. If I am honest, for me, taking sole responsibility for things and refusing help is closely connected to needing to be in control and setting standards that are too high – when it’s not even that important. It’s difficult to step outside of yourself and recognise when a characteristic hinders rather than helps but it’s that first tiny step that is the biggest and most significant!

Reading yours, and others blog posts has really helped me take those first steps – my next step is to share my thoughts and comments more often!

Thanks so much for commenting Gill. I certainly recognise the high control, unnecessarily high standards from my own experience 😉

I loved reading your blog and would definitely value your comments and thoughts on a regular basis!

Right now I am reading a book about how this approach is strongly linked to procrastination – another challenge I have. Its a real eye-opener – and when I get my head round it (i.e. get round to finishing it!!!) I would love to share.

I’d love that Gill…can I bagsy that one for the travelling tiara’s blog post ;). Seriously, sounds really interesting and I’d be fascinated to hear about it.

Hey – love the post very honest.
My question is, what do you do when there is no one else around take the pressure?!

Please keep writing
Bx

Hi Beki, thanks for commenting. I am far from expert in this and I suspect rather better at the theory than the practice… I believe the theory would be to work out whether there are things that you can stop doing or move further down the priority list and to to try and look for help in other places.

May well be easier said than done and I hope you find a way to figure it out.

Hi – thank you for your wishes, I am sure that I will – its all just a bit much right now. Couple of weeks it’ll all sort itself out!
B

Fingers crossed – I know how that feels 😦

Much like @deadbeatmum, I can recognize so much of myself in this post. I set unrealistically high expectations and then procrastinate because if I cant do it to perfection then what’s the point in even starting. Inviting friends to our house turns into a great deadline to achieve the house cleaning but at what cost? There are always too many frayed tempers and harsh words to make it worth while.
Thankfully I discovered FlyLady.net who has really helped me accept that a little bit is better than nothing. Now if I could just find the same kind of inspiration for my work life (once I have a job again, of course)…:-)
Thanks for sharing.

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